Isn’t quitting always easier?

Think of all the times you’ve given up on something. Did you need an elaborate excuse to give up? Or was it just a little thought that snowballed until you just quit?

Fitness regimes, New Year’s resolutions, self-improvement goals, are any of these on your list of things you’ve quit on at one point or another? Don’t lie; I know the answer is yes. It is for me, too.

How about a relationship? Have you ended one because you were “unhappy,” or have you had a partner conclude one because they were “unhappy”?

Is it taking the easy way out, or is it doing the right thing? Let’s look at the pros and cons of leaving a relationship because you aren’t happy.

**DISCLAIMER: Abuse and cheating do not fall under the umbrella of unhappiness I’m discussing here. If there is abuse, you must leave as soon as possible for your safety. For cheating, I would recommend going as well because you deserve better.

With that out of the way, let’s start with the pros.

Pros

1. Ending Dead-end Relationships

Have you stayed in a relationship that was past the expiration date? The type where you feel comfortable and are going through the motions? You don’t feel any spark or excitement anymore.

Your partner might be more invested in the relationship. Or, they could feel the same way, but unfortunately, neither of you has expressed it to the other. You don’t see a long-term future with this partner.

Your partner is great, but… There is always a “but…”. For whatever reason, something is missing. You aren’t as happy as you think you should be or could be. You know this won’t last long.

2. Showing yourself self-love

Your time on earth is limited. Why would you want to spend it in a situation where you aren’t happy and fulfilled? You already spend a lot of time at work.

Do you want to spend what’s left in an unhappy situation? A big part of self-love is putting yourself and your well-being first.

You do that whenever you leave a situation that causes unhappiness, emotional distress, or hurts your well-being. Of course, there is more that goes into it than that, but I’ll get into that later on.

3. Freeing yourselves up to find what you are looking for

The longer you stay in a relationship you are unhappy in, the longer you are preventing yourself from finding a relationship you will be happy in. Unfortunately, there is momentum in whatever you do.

Stay the course in an unhappy situation, and you’ll get more of it, making it harder to leave. It’s also unfair to your partner.

Keeping them hanging on is wasting their time. That’s not to say that one or both of you isn’t hurt by things ending. But ending things allows you to find the relationship and partner you want and deserve.

Cons

1. Your happiness is your responsibility.

It would help if you didn’t base your happiness on other people. They can take it away as quickly as they can bring you joy. Then what?

You are responsible for creating your happiness and fulfillment. You get to decide what that means and what it looks like. Basing that on another person is giving your power away.

If you leave someone because they don’t make you happy, however, you’ll also encounter that issue in your next relationship. It might take time, but it’s inevitable.

Your partner should enhance your life and happiness, not be the center of it.

2. You’re taking the easy way out

I don’t know how or when the shift happened, but people today seem to think a relationship should always be like the “honeymoon phase.” People start getting confused as soon as the honeymoon phase of drugs wears off.

The fire won’t keep burning by itself. It takes effort. Effort means communicating and putting your best foot forward.

You can’t talk about unhappiness without trying to improve the situation. You also can’t expect your partner to read your mind and anticipate your needs.

If you leave at the first sign of trouble, with no communication about the issues, and without putting in any effort to improve things, guess what? You’ll do the same things in your next relationship.

It’ll become a vicious cycle.

3. You have unrealistic expectations

We should all want the best for ourselves — life, job, partner, and relationship.

The problem is when you ask for the world but aren’t prepared to give it in return. It would help if you didn’t ask your partner things you aren’t willing to provide them with.

You may be looking for a specific type of partner. You know, attractive, fit, funny, good job, and all the other adjectives that describe your dream partner. You deserve it. Right?

Are you the type of person who can attract your dream partner? Or do you expect to stay lazy, out of shape, with no real drive, and still attract and keep a high-quality partner by your side?

News flash: Being a good person isn’t always enough. Once you attract your dream person, you can’t just get comfortable and stop doing what attracted your partner. You can’t expect your partner to keep doing everything if you stop.

Don’t be upset when you end up getting what you are giving.

Leaving a relationship is always a challenging decision. There are always plenty of things to consider before leaving.

Sometimes, a change is needed. If you continually discuss things that are issues, but nothing improves or changes, maybe it’s time to go. Sometimes things don’t change.

Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for people to leave without communicating their concerns. Some people aren’t good communicators, and others would rather avoid confrontation.

Relationships aren’t always going to be easy. Take a look at what the source of your unhappiness is. Drill down; you might be surprised.

We live in an instant-gratification society where we want results now. Quitting too early provides instant results. But also consequences.

If you aren’t aware, you’ll carry bad relationship habits into your next relationship. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.