4 Lies You Tell Yourself That Keep You From Succeeding

Your mind can talk you into or out of something with just a few thoughts.

Have you ever put a goal aside because you didn’t think you could do it, even though you didn’t attempt it? Have you ever thought far ahead into the future of what “successful” looked like and gotten so overwhelmed by imagining what it would take that you just gave up?

Do you ever feel like you need more preparation or your life circumstances are holding you back?

They are all lies we tell ourselves that keep us from taking action. I know because I’ve told myself these lies and many more.

The bottom line is that life is one big mind game. The only person you are playing against is yourself. — David Goggins

Here is a playlist of the top lie hits you tell yourself and how to get past them.

Your life circumstances

Life can either happen to you or for you. Super cliché, I know. But you’re choosing what to believe. Some people have complicated and traumatic pasts. Others might be going through difficult times right now.

What story are you telling yourself about all of it? Is it self-defeating? Are you using it as an excuse to stay where you are, even though you want more?

My first marriage ended 14 years ago. For the first couple of years after, I used that divorce as a reason to believe I was worthless and didn’t deserve any good things.

It took time and work to realize that getting divorced didn’t mean I couldn’t have the life I wanted. It didn’t mean I wasn’t worthy of love or an awful person.

It became something I could use to become a better person.

It’s the same if you are going through tough times right now. It doesn’t correlate to your value or ability to accomplish what you want.

The older we get, the more difficult it is to separate ourselves from our past and the past versions of ourselves.

Yesterday and tomorrow don’t matter as much as today. What can you do today to take a step in the direction you want to go? Whatever that step is, could you take it?

Negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is one of the mind’s easiest tricks to hold you back. Any time you tell yourself you can’t do something, you lie to yourself. Imagine when you’ve said you can’t do something without even trying.

How crazy is it to give up on something you haven’t tried? I bet most of us are so programmed now that we don’t even realize we do it.

Scroll through social media and see ripped fitness models, people on fancy vacations, millionaires getting rich from side hustles, etc.

Yes, it’s social media, so some of it (most of it?) is probably fake.

Regardless, why can’t you or I have the lives that we dream of? Are we scared of failure, of having to work to get there, or do we think we don’t deserve that kind of life?

I had to learn that whenever I said, “I can’t….” I had to ask myself why. The more I asked myself why, the more startled I became.

I didn’t know if I could accomplish what I wanted, but that grey area of uncertainty left tons of room for self-doubt. I leaned towards not believing in myself.

Why couldn’t I believe in myself enough?

This led me down a path of dealing with low self-esteem and self-respect. It had been there for years, and I had just gotten numb.

The more I said “I can’t,” the more reinforced it became in my subconscious. Eventually, it became part of my identity.

Sometimes, you don’t build belief in yourself until you get started. Just starting can be the confidence boost you need.

Don’t tell yourself you can’t do something until you show yourself you can’t.

I’m not ready yet

It’s human nature to think we need more than we do. We believe we need more money, knowledge, experience, etc.

You have everything you need right now. Overnight success is a fantasy.

I wanted to start a podcast, but I got wrapped up releasing the perfect, most fantastic podcast ever in my first episode.

I needed to buy the fancy equipment. I needed fantastic intro music. I had to learn to edit the audio to make everything sound perfect.

I studied all of those things and more for a few months.

One day, I just said, forget it; I’m sitting down with what I have right now and letting it rip. No fancy equipment, no mind-blowing intro, and no editing after recording. I released that first episode as it was.

A few people listened! That was all I had to do — just record and release. I could improve as I went. And I did.

Don’t let what you don’t have hold you back. Start with what you have where you are and improve as you go.

I need more information to improve my plan

Paralysis by over-analysis is something I’ve gotten good at.

It always shows up when I decide to focus on fitness and nutrition. I’ve got to find the perfect routine and diet to get the fastest results.

Over the last ten to twelve years, I’ve gathered too much information on exercise and nutrition. Most of the data says the same things and is not complicated. But there is always some new shiny object of an idea I should try.

A diet hack or an exercise I need to incorporate in the gym.

Meanwhile, I continue to put off starting the plan. I have to remind myself that there is no perfect plan, but the best strategy is the one you can stick to consistently.

Information is so accessible now that getting caught in the weeds is easy. Read another book, listen to a new podcast, sign up for another course, skim through another informative Medium article (wink wink).

Don’t let that hold you back from actually executing your plan. You can have all the knowledge, but it isn’t beneficial if you don’t apply it.

If you're starting with something easy, you can do it. You’ll find areas to improve on as you go or realize things you were missing. Tweak them on the fly.

Finding the success we want and achieving our goals is a lot simpler than we make it for ourselves. Our brains can be pesky when they should be helpful.

Conquering your goals isn’t more complicated than taking action, being consistent, and improving and refining as you go.

That’s it. Anything else we add to that is just resistance. Yes, everyone is different, but at the base level, that’s it.

Think about what you tell yourself that is holding you back from getting started. Is it fluff? Or is there a genuine reason you can’t start?

90% of the time, I bet it’s just fluff. Sometimes, it’ll take courage to start, so let all the outside and mental noise go and dive in.

As the saying goes, the best time to start was yesterday, and the next best time to start is now.