Using a Short-Term Memory to Change Your Life
Companion article to 2/3/2020 #mindsetmonday video…
This week for mindset Monday I talked about having a short memory. What I mean by that is having a short memory for any mistakes, slip ups, roadblocks, speedbumps, etc. you might encounter on the way to your goal or chasing your dream. In fact, the concept is so powerful to me that I think it is something beneficial you can apply to other areas of your life. I’ve seen numerous places that depression is focusing too much on the past. As someone who has had depression off and on for years, I can confirm it to be true, at least for me. While it doesn’t necessarily mean you sit and ponder all the bad things you think have happened to you, it’s more of a focus on things like, “well this or that happened in the past and that’s going to prevent me from doing this thing or it’s going to keep me feeling this way…” or “I’ve always had X result when trying to do Y so I’m always going to end up at Z and there is nothing I can do to change it.” which leads to hopelessness. The hopelessness seeps into everything else and before you know it, BAM! You’re depressed.
The example I used in my video about having a short-term memory was about fitness. Now this is something I actually felt first-hand last week, and it led me to make a quick video. Work for me last week was CRAZY. I was swamped. Swamped to the point that I was waking up to hit the gym around 4:30-5am and my first thoughts were how shitty work was going to be that day. Instead of hitting the gym, I actually just got online and started working right away instead of hit the gym. This was a Thursday and Friday back to back. Saturday morning came and I initially thought to myself, “Meh, just get back on track Monday. You’ve been fine missing the last 2 days. 2 more days won’t hurt.” My mind is one tricky SOB. Luckily for me, my next thought was, “wait, what? Wait till Monday? Why? Get your ass up and go now…”. So that is exactly what I did.
We’ve all had busy days or weeks that might have led us to slip up hitting the gym or making bad food choices. Life happens. To all of us. The thing to realize is, you need to go easy on yourself if you miss time or make a bad choice. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal. It only becomes a problem when you get in the habit of using those mistakes as an excuse to not to get back on track. Don’t board the negative momentum train. Once you get on, it’s hard as hell to get off. I promise you.
You need to realize that the great thing about life is, it’s never too late to re-start. Each second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade is a new moment in your life. A new moment that you can grab a hold of and create whatever you want with. The best time to start anything is right now. Seriously. You missed the gym yesterday? Cool, hit it today. You missed the last couple days? Cool, go today. You’ve been on vacation for a week and haven’t worked out or eaten anything that had any redeeming nutritional value? Awesome, go to the gym today and eat a salad with some grilled chicken on it. You were upset about something last night and binged to comfort yourself? No problem. Fix it starting right now going forward.
I know it’s hard. Once that negative momentum creeps in, it’s hard as hell to re-focus. But just because you didn’t do something yesterday, or didn’t make good choices yesterday, doesn’t mean you can’t today. That not only goes for yesterdays, but for the last however many years you’ve been struggling to change your habits or behaviors. Each day and part of a day is its own separate entity. You won’t always win. Chalk up those bad days as lost and go out and win today. Every day you wake up is a win. So, start by feeling grateful for that. Now you have a whole day laid out in front of you. How are you going to win it? If a day feels too big, then how are you going to win the morning? Still too big? How are you going to win the next few minutes? Boil it down as small as you need to. Grab the momentum from small victories and let it propel you where you want to go.
And this doesn’t just apply to goals. You can apply it to your life in general with whatever hang ups or situations you are dealing with from your past. The older we get, and the more experience with life that we have, the more saddled with “baggage” we become. I hate calling it baggage because of the negative connotation, but that’s what people consider it. It’s important to realize that whatever has happened in your past, is just that, PAST. Now, I’m not downplaying anything you’ve gone through. Not at all, but you need to reframe that shit. Whatever you experienced, no matter how horrible, you’re still here. That makes you a survivor. If you’ve come this far, you can change your future. If you want to. Just understand that, whatever happened, can’t keep you from achieving what you want, unless you use it as an excuse.
Right now, in 2020, mindfulness is probably what everyone struggles with the most. Mindfulness broken down to its simplest parts is basically being fully present and aware of the current moment. You aren’t depressed about the past or anxious about an outcome that might or might not happen. You are in the current moment, the ONLY thing you can control. You aren’t numbing your feelings with your phone, food, TV, mindless internet surfing. This is where life should be spent. It’s not like I’ve got this mastered, but the more research into successful people the more I notice a pattern. They all preach staying in the current moment. If they are successful and I’m not, I think there is a huge lesson in there. A lesson that I’m going to learn and put into practice.
The simplest way to look at it is each new moment of life is a new chance to start over. A new chance to go after your dreams and goals. You can leave all the old stuff behind. All the failures, heart aches, and troubles. All of it. Again, nothing you do is going to change what has already happened. You have to release that and the story you tell yourself regarding your past. As you are the author of your story, guess what? You’re still writing it. YOU are authoring it. That means you can write whatever you want.
It starts with grabbing on to the current moment. If you grab the current moment and use it to build, you can change your outcome. Let go of what you didn’t do yesterday. Let go of the situation from the past that is the lens you view everything through now. So what if you’ve tried 100 times and always failed. That’s the past, the old you. You have a precious new moment with which to change right now.
Kam Moye aka Supastition know about starting over….
